No Resolutions, Please

The new year is nearly upon us – isn’t it exciting?

It’s time to sit down and list out our resolutions, just in time to forget all about them by March and continue with all of our old, bad habits.

“I’m going to lose 10 pounds and catch myself a man next year!”

Or not.

But wait – with the combination of Cosmopolitan magazine and society’s judging eyes staring me down, don’t I need to lose that 10 pounds? Don’t I know that I’m not a complete person without a man?

This is why I hate resolutions: they like to pander to society’s overbearing judgement of what we should be, who we should be, and how we should look. And, frankly, that’s crap.

When I look at the new year, I want to set achievable goals to be a better me. The better me that I define for myself. The goals I set shouldn’t be limited to the next 12 months – they should permeate my being and push me to grow and thrive.

It’s not about losing 10 pounds – it’s about being aware of my body, of the nutrients I put into it, the activities I undertake with it, and making a point to take care of the only body I get in this life. (But, yes, it sure would be nice to fit into a size 4 again – thanks Cosmo.)

It’s not about finding a man. It’s about being a good person and a great friend. It’s about going out of my way to ensure the people I care about know how amazing and special they are. It’s about not being a hermit, and not being afraid of going out and making new connections. It’s about putting myself out there into the world and trusting that when the right people  come along, they’ll see my merits and my flaws and love me for them. It’s about being open to new possibilities and taking a chance on someone new.

It’s about grounding myself and reorienting my perspective. Being a complete, autonomous person, secure and happy in myself for being myself.

It’s about reconnecting with the joys of art and creativity. For it is through creative pursuits that the heart, the mind, and the soul truly give themselves to the world.

It’s about learning and growing and adapting constantly.

And, just a bit, it’s about saying “Fuck you, Cosmo. I am beautiful as I am, and so is every other girl you try to shame with your Photoshopped covers and dieting tips. I have better things to do with my life than listen to you.”

Considering Grad School?

Then check out Lol My Thesis and see what your future research endeavors could hold…

Those of you currently suffering through graduate research, consider summarizing your entire project into one sentence and submitting it.

My personal favorites:

I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do to help.

Information Security, Johns Hopkins University

“It appears, based on experimental evidence, that vowel perception is pretty much magic.”

Linguistics, University of Colorado

So, colonialism.

History, Wesleyan University

Moby Dick is the hero of ‘Moby Dick.’

English, Northwestern

I spy a penis: Botticelli’s sexual expression after being friendzoned by Simonetta Vespucci

Art History, Wells College


Seriously. Go check them out. They rock my grad student world.

Me &

Me (trying on a dress): What do you think?

K: Where would you even wear that?

Me: Oh, wherever, it just needs a nice pair of purple wings.

T: Like, fairy wings?

Me: Yup. When in doubt, just add wings.

Happy Christmas…

…if you celebrate Christmas that is. Blessed Yule to those of you celebrating yule. Merry Solstice again to you solstice goers. Happy Hanukkah (rather late, sorry!) to those of you who celebrated that. Anyone doing Kwanzaa? Hope it’s great for you. If you celebrate something I’ve missed, I hope it was fabulous. If you don’t celebrate anything, well, I hope that you’re having an amazing time regardless.

My point, in case it was too subtle, is that if you’re reading this (and, frankly, even if you’re not), I hope that life, the universe, and any spiritual leanings of your choosing are treating you well this winter season. I hope that you are having an amazing time with family and friends. And I hope that you know that you are a wonderful person and you are loved. Even if no one has mentioned that to you lately.

Happy holidays, everyone. Cheers.


Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.

Marcus Aurelius

Merry Solstice

Winter begins today and the season turns to snow and ice and quiet nights. It’s been a long time since I took a look at myself from a spiritual perspective… and now, as the year winds down and the world ices over, I think that it may be a good time to consider my place in the world.

As I turn the page to complete one chapter of my life, I find that the next seems to have already begun, with new people and new plots and even a bit of a new perspective popping up, faster than I could have imagined or hoped for just a few short weeks ago. What a wonderful thing it is to connect with good friends, new and old, and to look to the future with anticipation and excitement. How wonderful to have space in one’s own head and to finally feel grounded and to know which turns I wish to take on the path ahead.

I hope that the change of season brings with it positive changes for all, and that, as the new year unfolds before us, it will be bright and full of possibilities.